Pregnancy and Birth; A Poem and My Thoughts

My back aches,
My belly swells,
I grow.

I nourish,
I encourage,
You grow.

We thrive,
We are one,
We know.

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I was inspired this morning to write a short poem about pregnancy and birth.
I have felt so empowered by this pregnancy...
Only in the past week or two has it been difficult; and that is such a blessing to me.
Only just now am I feeling tired, swollen, achey...

When I was pregnant with Lennon five years ago, I was so unhealthy. My entire pregnancy was difficult. So much pain, so much aching, so much difficulty, so much sickness...

I didn't know until mid-pregnancy this time around that I had pre-eclampsia with Lennon (our eldest). It was something that we had discussed before becoming pregnant; we didn't know if we wanted to get pregnant again because of the issues I had with my first pregnancy, but I'm glad I didn't know that I actually had pre-eclampsia beforehand. Thank the gods, I haven't gotten pre-eclampsia with Rowan. Because I previously had pre-eclampsia, though, we have been thoroughly monitored; more so than this crunchy mama was into at first. But whatever needs to be done to ensure that Rowan and I are fine is alright by me. And the frequent visits have actually quelled my anxiety to a point. Instead of overwhelming anxiety every visit, it's been just a small amount and, thankfully, infrequently.

It's so very strange to me to know that I'll only be pregnant for three more days. I feel like we just started trying to get pregnant... But on the other hand, I feel strangely like I've been pregnant for a year and a half. My cesarean is scheduled almost exactly three days from now. After how difficult my pregnancy was with Lennon I didn't know if I'd ever want to be pregnant again. But I knew that I had overcome all of the issues with him and we both ended up being more than fine. I know that I am strong and I know that our babies are strong. So I knew that if I could do it when I was less healthy that I'd be able to do it again in a healthier, happier body for sure. I knew that I could handle being pregnant again with the outcome being another baby.

In just three days I will be the mommy of two boys.
Matthew will be the daddy of two boys.
Lennon will be a big brother.
Rowan will be Lennon's little brother.
Our boys... Our boys.

All of the anxiety, all of the "what about..." questions I had...
None of that matters. Everything works out.
All I care about is making sure we are all safe, happy and healthy.

Lennon is so excited to be a big brother.
I think he's just as excited to help Matthew take care of Rowan and I, though, as he is for Rowan to actually arrive. He is a fantastic helper and such a beautiful soul. I am so proud to call him mine.

Today and tomorrow are all Matthew has left to work before Rowan arrives.
He is taking Thursday off as we still have much left to do; a long doctor's appointment early Thursday morning, we need to get some food for Pooh and us (Lennon needs to take Vegan food to my parents' house for the few days we'll be in the hospital and we don't expect the hospital to have much if any Vegan food.) We need to finish getting the house all ready; one last sweep of the floors, make sure the dishes are finished, make sure everything is picked up, nice and cozy, the cats and our fish are taken care of...
Thursday night we'll be dropping Lennon off at my parents' house and then Friday morning we go in early and will be having Rowan!

We aren't having visitors on the first day, though... We figured it would be easier on us if we got some alone time with him. Not to mention, I'll need to heal some after my surgery and I also want to breastfeed... Preferably without an audience.

I am so in love.
So full of love.
So empowered, so... excited.

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My Blessingway

This past Sunday, (February 15th, 2015) Corrine held a digital blessingway for me.
I didn't really know what to expect, but it was so magical.
It was held at 10:00AM EST which, honestly, was clearly too early for most people, but it was the most convenient for myself and she so that's what we went with.

Around 9:30AM I began getting ready; I got my little blessingway altar all set up, I saged the space, put on some Loreena McKennitt and got comfortable.

I put a lot of thought into the items that I included on my altar.

I knew I wanted it to be beautiful, inspirational and filled with pregnancy-and-birth-centered love.

Top left; My carved stone elephant with a baby carved stone elephant in her belly.

Top middle; One of our oil burners; just using it to hold a candle.

Top right; My stones.

Middle left; My large amethyst piece.

Middle; Me.

Middle right; My blessingway cord.

Bottom left; My pregnancy stones.

Bottom middle; My sage.

Bottom right; One of my favourite Ganesha statues.

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We started with a "welcome" post; we all introduced ourselves and shared our altar spaces.
Then, a nature offering where people told me what flower reminded them of me and why. Oh, the replies made me so happy...
Next were affirmations; each goddess posted a (very large) number of inspirational mantras for me to say to myself. This was so empowering... Knowing they were all thinking of me, of us when they wrote these...
Then blessings for myself and Rowan were said.. Oh my heart is so full still thinking of them!
The next step was music; people posted links to beautiful, calming music / sounds that I could relax to.
And then the closing circle, followed by the blessingway crown. A few of us tied cord around one of our wrists to be cut off just before the birth in encouragement. Corrine asked everyone to choose a stone to make me a crown and she'll be sending it out soon. How blessed am I?

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The things that were said about me... about the kind of person these people see me as... Lifted me up higher than I can tell you. Matthew makes me feel like a goddess every day and Lennon could not be sweeter when it comes to me. But knowing that people outside of my immediate family feel like I have an impact on them... And a good one? Wow.

I feel so empowered and not as scared about the birth...
Which is fantastic because I wasn't very scared about it until quite recently. But I know I can do this. I am strong. My body is ready for this and so is Rowan's. We will be safe and healthy.
I am so excited!

I doubt I'll post again before his birth so I'll likely be back in a couple of weeks.
Thanks for all of the love thrown our way; we feel it so strongly.

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A Week From Today, Rowan Will Be Here!

So basically, this is a semi-hiatus notice for my blog.
I'll be back to active writing eventually, but please understand that family comes first!

One week from today, our second son, Rowan will be born. (If I don't go into labor before then. By this time next Friday, I'll already be prepped and in surgery.)

I can't even believe it's so close... Soon we will be the parents of two boys. "The boys" we'll call them.

My amazing friend Corrine is holding a digital blessingway for me this Sunday and I am so, so excited.

My heart is so full...

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Food Prep & Stocking Up: Staying Realistic

Top left: Ice Cream (cat), Stocked freezer (including homemade Vegan parm!), Bread pizzas with Vegan chee, our huge stock of Coconut oil.
Top right: Some of our groceries. Not even half.
Bottom left: Our fridge door (including lots of homemade goodness; ketchup / tomato soup, Vegan ranch dressing, lots of store-bought and homemade seasoning...)
Bottom right: Homemade mustard soaking up vinegar, Strawberry banana smoothie, Circe (cat), our smoothie ingredients (which are now in flat bags in the freezer.)

This past Friday, Pooh and I went grocery shopping. We stocked up on everything I could think of and then some. My friend Corrine helped me sit down and think of a basic grocery list to start from. That was a huge help! We spent the entire day out and went to four different stores. (Three of which are local!)

We tried to be realistic when it came to buying groceries and stocking our pantry. Usually, if we buy fresh food, we tend to get over-excited and buy more than we know what to do with and it ends up being wasted. So sitting down and really deciding what we wanted to make before-hand helped. We'll see how it ends up working out, but so far it's been amazing.

Saturday we had some errands to run (we needed more tomatoes!) and then came home and made a ton of food from scratch. Sunday hubs and I didn't feel very well but we still spent the entire day making more food. I ended up making some homemade ketchup but, despite following the recipe exactly, it turned out more like tangy tomato soup; so I tried taking some of the tanginess out and we had it for dinner last night as tomato soup (along with some Vegan grilled cheese sandwiches!)

I'm really proud of us because usually, whether or not we feel well, we don't really bother to spend a good amount of time in the kitchen actually working on making food... And if we feel less-than-stellar, you can usually count on us lying around, playing video games all day. And while we still totally got in some video game playing time, we spent, by far, the bulk of our time fixing up food in the kitchen.

THAT is the difference in our lives. THAT is progress. And I am so excited that it just is coming naturally. Granted, I need to make a point to take it easier and realize that I'm far along in my pregnancy and can't push it too hard, but... When I became pregnant, I would always tell myself "active pregnancy!" I knew I couldn't just sit there and let hubs do everything with the excuse that "I'm pregnant!" Not that he wouldn't; he definitely would do anything for me, no questions asked. But I am not okay feeling lazy. I spent a couple of years after I gave birth to our first boy feeling that way and... never again. (At least not when I am totally capable of doing something... Usually.)

I have an appointment with the ultrasound technician every Monday and Thursday; and this Thursday, I also have a full-ultrasound and also see my OB. This Thursday I'll be 34 weeks along. I'm 33.5 weeks now; if I have Roo at 37 weeks, that's 3.5 weeks away. And if I have him at 40 weeks, that's just 6.5 weeks away! Both are so close!

I wish I'd gotten a picture of our girlie Charlie (our third cat; the top left is Ice Cream and the bottom right is Circe.) But Maybe she'll pose for me soon enough, haha. She was quite the snuggle butt this weekend. Man, I love our cats.

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Getting Ready

My blog is currently under construction but I wanted to share what we've been doing to get ready for Roo lately!

In regards to the blog, instead of going through every old post and resizing photos manually to fit the new width of my blog, I'm leaving them as-is. It's not the most aesthetically pleasing, but no matter.

This past weekend, we took the doors off of our upper kitchen cabinets. We had contemplated doing it for some time, but finally took the plunge. We also purged a lot of our dishes and random kitchen supplies. We cleaned the fridge, stove, floor, dishes, cabinets... you name it, we took care of it!

We are so in love with our kitchen now. I love peeking in there in the middle of the night and just breathing a sigh of contentment. We have such big plans, though! This summer, we are planning on painting most things in our kitchen white and then painting a couple random things (window trim, top cabinet trim) green! We also want to add some shelves in front of the window to add more beautiful planties! We have two cacti currently; I definitely want to bring more in! We also want to add a tiered fruit hanging basket and maybe somewhere to dry herbs. Ooh, it's going to be so perfect!

All that really needs done is some more organizing; mostly because we'd just like to purge a decent amount more before Rowan gets here. We don't want or need so much. But our hospital bag (and Lennon's bag to take to Gran and Poppy's house) are mostly packed, baby stuff is washed and organized... The carseat is installed and we have basically everything we need, thankfully. We are all set! I'd like to write a review for all of the lovely items we've recently bought from Etsy. I will do that as soon as the last few things arrive.

I'm planning on sharing my little remedy for sinus and allergies on the blog soon. I sure know it's been a blessing to us here!

I have been so blissed out today. I have so many wonderful ideas for my blog. My amazing friend, Corrine, who blogs over at Wolf Den Holistic Farm, inspired me to get back into active blogging. I've spent a good part of the past couple of days over on their blog, helping them make it fit their lifestyle. I love that my friends appreciate what I'm good at. Thank the Stars for good friends.

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Life lately; New Year

So life lately has been great! I'm 31w3d pregnant today! We have twice-weekly appointments at my doc's office to keep an eye on the pregnancy; and we're doing fantastic, thank the gods. Matthew got me the most lovely jewelry for Yule; two rings with each of the boys' names on them and a necklace with a cesarean goddess with "love" on her belly (the other thing came with it and it was a gift from the shop! I'll talk more about them later.)

We put the car seat into the car yesterday! What else... We finished washing all of Roo's clothes and now all of his stuff is nice and ready for him! We spent this past weekend cleaning, organizing and relaxing... It was great!

We've made some deeeeelicious food lately. Holy moly. No bake cookies, mashed potatoes, gravy... I could go on, oh good gods. Yum!

Our kitties have all been so snuggly lately. I love my meow meows! And what else... we took a trip to Mohican a few days back just to get some nice, fresh air during a warmer (almost 50 degree!) day. So nice!

Oh! Rowan's middle name is Sage; I don't believe I've written that on my blog yet, considering it's been forevvvver since I wrote. Roo's full name is Rowan Sage Douglas. Rowan is an Irish name meaning "little red-headed one" and Sage means "wise one" and is a cleansing, healing plant. I just recently found out that the Moon during February - March is the Sage moon. And the Celtic month of the Rowan tree is January - February. I am so overwhelmed by the clear divine intention given to us in finding his name. How perfect! Now let's see if he comes out with red hair; there's a good chance he may! Life has been good, we're just so, so busy. Sooo busy.

My word for the new year is present. As in, I want to be more present in the new year. Matthew's chosen word is harmony. I might have him guest-write a post about why he chose that word.

Okay, well... I think it's about time for bed. I hope all is well. Well wishes for the pregnancy and birth would be appreciated! Maybe I won't end up writing until after Roo is born! We'll see! (Roo is Rowan's nickname. Pooh is Lennon's and Roo is another character on the show... it rhymes... aaaaand I guess it just kind of.. stuck.)

I'm still pretty active over on Instagram. I'm @LaurenDouglasCreative if you want to follow my feed!

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Life Lately; It's A Boy!!

Since my last update, we have been so active.
Let's see... Well, at my 19w appointment I had an ultrasound and we found out that baby is a BOY! Everything with the ultrasound went perfectly. We've named him Rowan. As far as a middle name... we have a few we like and one specific one that really sticks out but nothing definite yet.
We've put up our Christmas decorations, have had delicious smelling candles burning most of the time, have been working on making Christmas crafts, making soup from scratch (delishhhhh!), we've been outside some, I've been slowly focusing more on my stones... What else.. I installed some dreads into my hair and then took them out again. Hmm.. We went trick or treating! We really couldn't have anything but it was so fun anyway and we bought Pooh a couple of healthier Vegan snacks as a treat instead.

I've got family coming in from all over for my great grandma's 90th birthday this weekend. I'm really excited to see so many people I rarely get to see. I would love for all these people to be here next year to see Rowan once he is born but.. thank the gods for the internet, I guess.

I haven't really blogged much at all during the pregnancy. Sorry for lack of updates, but if you're family or a close friend, I've still been updating you via FaceBook. Also, I'm still posting frequently over on my Instagram. I'm @LaurenDouglasCreative over there if you want to follow.

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16 Week Update On Pregnancy

Last week at my 15 week appointment, my doctor told me that maybe eating more frequently will help with my all-the-time morning sickness. Today it's been a week since my appointment and I haven't gotten sick once!! Super excited about that!
Also was listening to Age of Aquarius by 5th Dimension and put the iPod on my belly and the baby started kicking. Good choice, kiddo! Our oldest; Lennon, used to kick in my belly to Lady Gaga's song "Bad Romance." He also was really into Frank Sinatra, Elvis and Marilyn Manson.

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OBGYN Appointment

I had an obgyn appt yesterday. Doc said everything is going perfectly. Really, really awesome!

I'm so glad that today is Friday. Tomorrow is mine and hubs' four year wedding anniversary and Monday is my twenty fourth birthday. :) And Tuesday is 100 days until Christmas. Lmao

Have a good weekend guys. Hoping to finally get a cord for my laptop this weekend!

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I AM PREGNANT!

So... I've been away from blogging for a while because... I AM PREGNANT!
We have been planning and such and... just found out a couple days ago!
We are so excited!!!!

The baby is due in early 2015. More updates on my pregnancy as it progresses!

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